


23:10 (it's your wish)

by kiyoshxro



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, Fanfiction, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Haikyuu - Freeform, KuroKen - Freeform, Kuroken au, Kuroken hospital au, M/M, My First Fanfic, Nekoma, haikyuuau, hospital au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:21:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26532046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiyoshxro/pseuds/kiyoshxro
Summary: "One more minute. Just wait one more minute..."
Comments: 1
Kudos: 23





	1. The Private Hospital

It was early morning when Kozume Kenma—as he prefers being called his first name, Kenma—stared up at the small hospital. It was two stories high, yet the building in front of him terrified him. It may have been odd. A 17-year-old boy who was 5’6 scared of a building that was as big as a motel.  
That was because Kenma had anxiety.  
Kenma’s anxiety wasn’t good and it was also a danger to himself. After all, with little sleep at night and no moods to eat, Kenma was losing weight and was always passing out during the day. According to his parents, it was time for him to get help.  
Too bad, Kenma thought as he dragged his suitcase up the few steps and towards the entrance. I guess this is where I’ll be living now…  
“Welcome!” A tall man with dark hair greeted Kenma. “I’m Doctor Manabu Naoi. Call me whatever you want. You must be Kozume Kenma? It’s nice to meet you. I’m sure you know who runs this place. Doctor Yasufumi Nekomata. Your parents told you, right?”  
Kenma tensed, unsure of what to say. He didn’t want to talk to him, not to be rude. He was anxious about how his voice sounded and what he’d say. He could simply end up stuttering and freak out right then and there.  
I wasn’t prepared for this… Kenma thought as his mouth stayed shut.  
“Oh, sorry,” Doctor Naoi apologized as he reached behind him and took out a file. “I forgot you have…anxiety. Why don’t you follow me to your room?”  
Kenma managed to nod as Doctor Naoi headed up the stairs. As Kenma passed the first door, he stopped when he heard a slight clatter along with loud laughter and shouting. The loud noises made Kenma jump slightly as he hurried after Doctor Naoi.  
“We’re here,” Doctor Naoi says as he unlocks the door to room #5. “You can put your things on the table and your clothes in those drawers.”  
“I see,” Kenma mutters as he takes in the hospital room that looked like a bedroom and living room combined despite its small size. There was a door on the side that Kenma assumed led to a private bathroom.  
“You can unpack and come downstairs to the library,” Doctor Naoi said. “We all hold meetings and talk, or sometimes you can just hang out there if you don’t want to be in the cafeteria.”  
Doctor Naoi turned and left Kenma to unpack. As Kenma unpacked his clothes, he took glances out the window where there were trees and a road that led into the trees. He could barely make out the city in the distance.  
Once Kenma finished unpacking, he heard loud talking a few doors from his room. He peered out his doorway to see three boys exiting the first room. One had white and black spiky hair and was wearing a Fukurodani student uniform. The one that stood next to the spiky hair was wearing the same uniform but had dark flat hair. He was also quiet while his friend was talking loudly. The one that seemed to have belonged in this hospital had black hair that looked more like bedhead to Kenma.  
“Will you guys shut the hell up already?!” A voice screeched from behind Kenma, making him jump in his skin.  
In the doorway next to Kenma’s was a tall boy with the sides of his head shaved and his flat mohawk blond. He glared at the three—well, two minus the flat-haired student—and looked at Kenma. He gave Kenma a friendly smile as a greeting before shutting his door.  
“Oya?” The bedhead boy said once he noticed Kenma. “You’re new, aren’t you?”  
Once again, Kenma practically jumped out of his skin. He turned around to see the bedhead standing outside his door while the Fukurodani students were out of sight. Kenma looked side to side before answering with a quick nod.  
“Kuroo Tetsurou,” Bedhead greeted with a grin, holding out his hand.  
Kenma flinched, too scared to interact with this patient. Kuroo frowned and sighed.  
“I’m not gonna hurt you,” Kuroo said. “I only hurt myself from getting panic attacks out of thin air.”  
Kenma’s frown deepened when he heard the sorrow hiding in Kuroo’s joking tone. Despite the huge grin on Kuroo’s face, there were visible dark circles under his eyes and his lips were chapped while his skin was pale. Kuroo looked happy, but deep down, he must’ve been miserable.  
“Have…you been getting enough sleep?” Kenma asked in a low voice, hoping Kuroo could hear him.  
Kuroo’s grin faded. “No,” He admitted right off the bat. “I wake up having panic attacks and sometimes they’re so bad that I can’t fall back asleep. They happen around 2 a.m. mostly. Sometimes 4 a.m. or even later. They vary.”  
“Sorry,” Kenma mumbled.  
“No, no,” Kuroo assured him, “It’s fine, I’m fine. We should head to the library. I’m sure Doc told you.”  
Kenma knew that Kuroo was changing the subject, but he didn’t protest. After all, Kenma wasn’t used to comforting people. Instead, he followed Kuroo down the stairs and towards the library.  
“I was wondering, why are you here?” Kuroo asked.  
“I have bad anxiety,” Kenma muttered the reply. “I could get panic attacks even worrying about something so little. They’re dangerous for me, though.”  
“I see,” Kuroo said. “You’re kinda like me, except your attacks come with a reason. Mine comes with no reason at all.”  
Kenma only nodded and ignored the fact that Kuroo was staring at him. Maybe it was because of his hair. After all, he had bleached it blond and the ends reached down to his chin. That story was for another time.  
“We’re here,” Kuroo said as he stopped by the doors of the library.  
Kenma hesitantly removed his hands out of his red hoodie pocket and pushed the doors open. When he did, he heard frantic talking.  
“Lev, you gotta eat something!” A short boy with light brown hair exclaimed at a table where others were sitting. The short boy was holding onto a pack of onigiri in front of the tall boy.  
Lev, the tall gray-haired teenager shook his head stubbornly.  
“I already ate too much for dinner, and at midnight!” Lev protested. “I don’t wanna gain any more weight! My height already adds, Yaku!”  
“But you threw up in the toilet at 3 a.m.!” Yaku exclaimed. “Shibayama heard you!”  
“Well…that didn’t help!” Lev said back.  
“Plus, your weight will go down if you continue doing that to yourself!” Yaku sighed. “Let me help you!”  
Just like the others, Lev didn’t look very healthy. He had red eyes and his cheeks were slightly puffy. His knuckles were calloused, and he looked tired.  
“Lev,” Kuroo said as he stood next to Kenma. Everyone turned to them. “Please, eat. This will help you get better.”  
“Kuroo…” Lev muttered. His eyes welled and his mouth trembled. “I…can’t.”  
“Please?” Kuroo asked as he approached the table and took the onigiri container. He held it towards Lev. “For your hero?”  
Lev sighed but picked up the container with consciousness. He opened it and continued to eat as Kenma joined them and Kuroo smiled sadly.  
“Hero?” Kenma asked.  
“Kuroo is considered Lev’s hero,” Yaku said. “He is a hero to all of us. He’s been able to convince us and help us get better. Anyways, thank you, Kuroo. Shibayama has had a hard time asking Lev to eat at nights whenever he…” Yaku’s voice trailed and he shook his head. “Anyways, who’s this?”  
“Oh yeah,” Kuroo said. “I never got your name.”  
“Kozume Kenma,” Kenma murmured. “But I don’t really like honorifics, so I prefer it if you call me Kenma.”  
“Okay, Kenny-chan.” Kuroo winked and grinned, which made Kenma roll his eyes.  
Kenma and Kuroo took their seat across Lev and Yaku. The door opened and another tall boy with dark hair entered. He glanced at Kenma.  
“This is Kai Nobuyuki,” Yaku said.  
Kenma followed Kai as the newcomer sat next to Yaku.  
“I can introduce myself,” Kai sighed. “Yes, I’m Kai. By the way you’re looking at me, I’m guessing you wanna know why I’m here. And I’m here because I have schizophrenia.”  
Kenma nodded his head. He turned around when the door creaked open to see a few people enter. He recognized the boy from earlier who had shouted at Kuroo and his friends. That reminded him…  
“Kuroo?” Kenma asked. “Those people from earlier, who were they?”  
“Oh, they’re my friends,” Kuroo replied. “Well, they’re from Fukurodani.”  
“I see,” Kenma muttered, though he already knew that.  
“You must be new,” A boy with dark, flat hair said to Kenma. “Shibayama Yuki.”  
“I’m Teshiro Tamahiko,” a boy with gray hair and thick gray eyebrows said.  
“I’m Inuoka Sou!” The boy spiky brown hair exclaimed with a huge smile. “Nice to meet you, whoever you are!”  
“Yamamoto Taketora,” The blond mohawk said.  
“Is Fukunaga coming?” Yaku asked. He turned to Kenma. “Also, be careful when you talk to him. He gets scared pretty easy.”  
Kenma was about to open his mouth to question Yaku’s statement when the door opened and a boy with black hair and small eyes entered. He noticed Kenma and gave him a small, cute smile and took the final seat on the end of Kuroo’s side.  
“Where’s Doctor N. and Mr. Nekomata?” Lev asked as he closed the onigiri container.  
“Mr. Nekomata and Doc should be coming here in 3, 2, 1—” Kuroo said.  
“We’re here!” A voice called as the door opened at the same time Kuroo ended on 1.  
“How—” Kenma began.  
“Kuroo has great hearing,” Yaku said “So, he heard them coming.”  
Kenma turned, curious of who Nekomata was. Standing at the doorway next to Doctor Naoi was an elderly man with gray hair and a huge grin.  
“Hello,” He said. “Let’s begin the meeting, shall we?”


	2. Talk in the Library

Kenma sat uncomfortably at his seat as Naoi and Nekomata sat at each head of the table. After they took their seats, Nekomata began to talk.   
“Welcome to our new friend, Kozume Kenma.” Nekomata pointed to Kenma with his hand and smiled. “Now that our new patient is here, I’m assuming you all introduced yourselves?”  
“Yessir,” Kuroo said.  
“Did you all tell him the reason why you’re here?” Nekomata asked.  
Everyone was quiet.  
“Kai did,” Lev said.  
“Alright,” Nekomata replied. “I’m not mad. I understand these can be sensitive topics, but I wanted you guys to get to know each other.”  
“I can…talk,” Inuoka said. “I’m here because I have depression.”  
Kenma’s frown deepened. Who knew a cheerful boy like him was really…?  
“I know what you’re thinking,” Inuoka interrupted Kenma’s thoughts. “I just…try to make people happy. I don’t want them being sad like me.”  
Inuoka sniffed but put on a brave face.  
“It’s okay, Inuoka,” Yaku said. “I guess I’ll tell you why I’m here. I have OCD.”  
After those simple words, Yaku straightened his tie that looked intact.  
“I’m bipolar,” Yamamoto said, looking down at the table with his arms crossed.  
“I—” Lev began. He sighed and looked at the ceiling. “I have bulimia…I’ll get hungry and eat, or sometimes whenever I’m not hungry, I’ll still eat. And then I’ll feel guilty and—” Lev cut himself off.  
“It’s okay, Lev,” Nekomata said. “You don’t have to keep going.”  
Lev nodded and pursed his lips as Yaku rubbed circles on his back.  
“What the hell?!” Teshiro screeched as he jumped out of his seat and fell to the floor.  
Kenma jumped in his seat like a cat that touched water.  
“Is it happening?” Naoi asked as he stood up.  
“Go bring him to his room,” Nekomata said. “I’ll explain things to Kozume.”  
“Teshiro,” Naoi said calmly. He held out his hand. “Come with me.”  
“B-but what a-about the voices?” Teshiro stammered.  
“I’ll help get rid of them,” Naoi replied.  
Teshiro inhaled and exhaled before taking his hand and standing up.  
“Sorry!” He shouted, bowing.  
“It’s alright,” Nekomata said.  
Naoi took Teshiro away from the library.  
“If you’re wondering what happened, Teshiro had a psychotic episode,” Nekomata explained. He sighed wearily and shook his head. “The poor boy has a psychotic disorder. We’re trying our best to help him. Naoi is a big help to calm him down.”  
“You’re probably wondering why I’m here,” Shibayama said, sarcasm laced in his voice. “I have borderline personality disorder. I’m sure you know what it means considering someone your age should know.”  
“Shibayama, be nice,” Nekomata said calmly.  
Shibayama crossed his arms but looked away with a guilty look.  
“It’s fine,” Kenma assured Nekomata. “I understand.”  
“Now, Kozume,” Nekomata said. “Fukunaga is very sensitive with loud noises and can be triggered by anything if you mention this topic. Fukunaga has PTSD.”  
Kenma’s eyebrows furrowed.  
“He witnessed a plane crash,” Nekomata spoke slowly and in a calming tone as Fukunaga bowed his head. “It was right near the town where he and his parents were. I’m sure you heard about the accident. It was about 5 years ago, but the plane had crashed right in front of him and hit a few cars on the road. He…didn’t like the sight of it.”  
Kenma turned to Fukunaga, who looked pale. He looked like he saw a ghost as he began reimagining the event that happened long ago and still haunted him to this day.  
“Kozume, do you mind telling us about yourself?” Nekomata asked.  
Kenma looked down. He really didn’t want to talk about how bad his anxiety was. But then again, it wouldn’t be a bad idea, right? After all, according to his parents, he was here to get help.  
“I’m Kenma Kozume,” Kenma said. “And I have anxiety. It may sound common, but it’s one of those really bad cases.”  
Kenma stopped talking, not wanting to continue.  
“Thank you,” Nekomata said. “Now that we all know each other, you all may go to your rooms. You have a couple of hours before lunch. If you guys want to stay here and talk, that’s fine. I’ll be in my office.”  
Nekomata stood up and smiled kindly to Kenma.  
“Thank you for being with us, Kozume,” He said,  
After Nekomata left, there was nothing but a pin-dropping silence. Like Kenma, everyone was looking around the room or taking glances at each other. The one person who broke the silence was the boy sitting next to and grinning at Kenma.  
“What the—” Kenma began when he heard Kuroo snicker.  
“Kenny-chan…normally we’d all be talking but now.” Kuroo laughed wildly, which made the people in the room light up a bit.  
“Sorry,” Kenma mumbled.  
“No, no,” Kuroo assured him. “No need to apologize. I was just joking.”  
“So,” Shibayama said, hoping to start a conversation. “Um…I’m sure we’ll all be able to show Kenma that it’s not so bad to be here, am I right?  
A few of the Nekoma hospital patients nodded.   
“What time is it?” Kai asked.  
“Quarter to 10,” Yaku said as he averted his gaze from his wristwatch.  
Kenma bent his head down slightly, hiding his face with his hair. How was he supposed to last about another 2 hours before lunch? The thought of sitting here in boredom made his heartbeat quicken.  
“Say, Kenma,” Lev said. “I noticed part of your hair is black and the rest is blond. Why’d you dye it?”  
“Um…” Kenma hadn’t planned to talk to anyone after explaining to him the reason he was here. Too bad his hair was so…noticeable.  
“Sorry,” Lev apologized.  
Kenma shook his head. “It’s okay,” He replied. “I dyed it because someone told me I’d look like Sadako from The Ring. I had let my hair grow out, so that’s why someone told me that. I don’t really like seeing things in my peripheral vision. It makes me anxious if I see…so much of the world. That person suggested I should dye it. It happened in middle school. I didn’t have any friends, so I was surprised that someone told me.”  
“Ah,” Lev replied.  
There was yet again and awkward silence. Kenma wanted so badly to sink in his seat and disappear. The silence was way too loud and uncomfortable for his liking.  
“How about I give you a tour,” Kuroo suggested to Kenma as he stood up. He smiled. “The rest of you can go to your rooms to rest. You all must be tired.”  
“You’re one to talk with those dark bags under your eyes,” Shibayama retorted. He seemed to have processed what he said and quickly covered his mouth. “Sorry…”  
Kuroo’s head was bowed slightly. He shook his head and grinned again.  
“Don’t worry about me,” Kuroo said, a slight crack unnoticeable to anyone sitting in his voice.  
Everyone stood up and began telling each other their plans.  
“I’m going to the gym,” Lev said. “I need to work off the food from midnight.”  
“L-Lev!” Yaku exclaimed. “Please, no working out today! Just rest for one day!”  
“Do what Yaku says,” Kuroo said before Lev could protest.  
Lev nodded his head, but his frown turned into a sad smile.   
“Kuroo,” Kenma said. “Where are we going?”  
“Call me Tetsurou,” Kuroo said. “No honorifics.”  
Kenma blinked. He raised his eyebrow, slightly stunned. People only call each other by their first name if they’re, family, really close friends or dating. Kenma had just met Kuroo. Yes, Kuroo was the first patient to greet him (with words), but even so.  
“Your first name?” Kenma asked.  
“Mhm!” Kuroo replied with a proud smile. “I’m already calling you by yours. Come on, Kenny-chan,”   
Kenma rolled his eyes at the nickname as Kuroo walked out of the library. Everyone else followed. Kenma lagged behind Yaku.  
“You know,” Yaku said as he stopped at the door. He turned to face Kenma. “Kuroo seems to have taken a liking to you. He never really asked any of use to call him by his first name. Maybe, Kuroo can be more than a hero to you. Maybe he could be someone special to you.”  
Yaku left Kenma to process those 6 words.  
Someone…special to me? Kenma wondered.


	3. If Only I Could

Only a day had passed, and Kenma was feeling miserable. Sure, the people at the hospital were kind and understanding. The food wasn’t bad and there were plenty of books in the library. The one thing that was bothering him was that he was missing something…or some things.  
Kenma didn’t have his electronics.  
Normally, Kenma would be playing his games by now, like Animal Crossing or Among Us. Unfortunately, electronics weren’t allowed when he got there since specific games could also trigger his anxiety from simple jump scares to flashing lights. Even a mere popup could make his anxiety skyrocket.  
Groaning, Kenma rolled around and removed the covers off his body as the sun peered through the cracks of the curtain that had been lazily shut. The rays of light were shining on the tiled floor and landed a bit on the carpet. The main ray of light that woke Kenma up was directly in his face, which made Kenma mutter a few curse words at it for waking him up and heating him up.  
“Kenny-chan!” A familiar voice called from behind his door.   
Kenma gave a short shriek as he rolled off his bed from the sudden voice. He groaned when he landed on his arm. He flopped on his back and shut his eyes, still tired, as the door opened, and quick footsteps hurried to him. He could hear shuffling as the intruder knelt down next to him. Black hair covered part of his view of the ceiling.  
“Kenny-chan!” Kuroo cried as he lifted Kenma up on his lap. “I’m so sorry! Are you hurt? You’re not gonna have a panic—”  
“Calm down, Tetsurou,” Kenma said, opening his eyes and sitting up. “I’m fine. Don’t fret or else you’ll get one.”  
Kuroo’s mouth dropped and his eyes gleamed. Kenma raised an eyebrow when he saw the look on Kuroo’s face.  
“What?” Kenma asked.  
“You called me Tetsurou,” Kuroo said, wiping fake tears off the corners of his eyes. “And you worried for me!”  
Kenma looked down in his lap and replied, “Well, yeah. I have to worry for you. And you told me I can. Plus, maybe you can be my hero, too.” He mumbled the last sentence.  
Kuroo’s eyes widened. He could hear what the bi-colored haired-boy had just said, even though he had muttered it. Kuroo patted his head.  
“I won’t be your hero,” Kuroo said, making Kenma swing his head around quickly, seemingly disappointed. “I’ll be your star.”  
Kenma was surprised and at the same time confused. A star? Like one where you wish upon? A popstar? What exactly was Kuroo referencing?  
“Star?” Kenma asked.  
Kuroo snickered. “You know? The one you use for your wishes?”  
Kenma raised an eyebrow. “Why star?”  
“Let’s just say you’re more special to me,” Kuroo said, making Kenma’s heartbeat quicken. “Someone I’d be willing to give my wish to.”  
“Your wish?” Kenma was still clueless on the hints Kuroo was giving him.  
Kuroo stood up and helped Kenma up, ignoring Kenma’s two-word question. “Let’s go. You realize it’s 11, right? Yaku had to wake Lev up just now, so you’re not the only one to wake up at 11. Mr. Nekomata always leaves a few snacks out in the cafeteria for people who don’t get breakfast.”  
“I’ll…meet you there,” Kenma said as he made his way back to his bed. “I’m going to change.”  
“Right,” Kuroo replied. He made his way around Kenma’s bed and opened the curtains, making Kenma close one eye from the blinding light. “I’ll be in the cafeteria, okay?”  
Kenma nodded. Once Kuroo closed the door, Kenma sat on his bed and fell on his back as his feet dangled above the floor. He stared at the ceiling, contemplating whether he should just fall back asleep or actually meet Kuroo downstairs.  
It was hard for Kenma to sleep at night if it was warm in his bedroom. So, his hospital room was always cold. Unfortunately, he had nightmares. Dark and scary nightmares. Some were about him being trapped in a dim lit room with no light. Some were with him falling, which made him jolt awake at night in a cold sweat. These nightmares were recurring and sometimes, he was unable to fall back asleep. Sometimes, he’d get sleep paralysis, which was very scary since he’d just be laying there in the dark room. He’d stay up late so he wouldn’t have to deal with those nightmares, but everybody has to sleep once in a while.  
“Sleep…deprivation sucks,” Kenma murmured as he sat up to change.  
After Kenma changed into some casual clothing, he opened his door and peered outside. The halls were empty, and all the room doors were closed. Everybody must’ve been in their room or downstairs. Relief washed over Kenma. He didn’t have to talk to anyone.  
Kenma exited his room when Lev’s door, a few doors down, opened. Yaku came out followed by Lev. Yaku was comforting Lev, who had the dark circles under his eyes and his gray hair was a huge mess. He still looked miserable. Lev looked up to see Kenma standing outside of his door. Yaku turned to look at who Lev was staring at.  
“Oh, hey, Kenma,” Yaku said. “Are you heading down to the cafeteria?”  
Kenma nodded as Yaku and Lev walked over to him. Lev gave a weak smile.  
“Let’s walk down together,” Lev said.  
Kenma didn’t say anything as Lev and Yaku headed to the staircase. Kenma followed them in silence with his hands in his white hoodie pocket. They reached the cafeteria, with its doors open, and went inside. Kenma searched around for Kuroo, but he was nowhere in sight.  
“What do you want to eat?” Yaku asked as he and Lev stopped in front of the display case.  
Lev stared at the food hungrily. However, he turned his head ignoring the empty pit in his stomach along with the low growls that erupted from it. Yaku side-glanced at his friend with a worried frown.  
“I can wait for lunch,” Lev said. “It’s in an hour…”  
Yaku sighed. “But you just woke up and barely ate anything last night.” Yaku’s eyes widened slightly. “You didn’t eat anything at midnight and thro—”  
“No!” Lev exclaimed. “No, I just…I don’t want to right now.”  
“Promise us you’ll eat at lunch.”  
The three boys turned to see Kuroo standing at the door.  
“I…” Lev began. He frowned and looked down at his feet. “Promise.”  
Kuroo smiled kindly as Lev and Yaku left the cafeteria. Then, Kuroo walked up to Kenma and gave him a proud grin.  
“Wanna eat, Kenny-chan?” Kuroo asked.  
Kenma frowned, obviously not flattered by that nickname. Then again, he wasn’t annoyed. He felt like he finally had a friend. After all, he had been alone for a long time, even in his first year in high school.  
The thought of missing the rest of his high school life made him want to cry.  
“I’ll probably wait for lunch,” Kenma replied, looking down at his pocket that was puffed up from his hands that rested inside.  
“Are you sure?” Kuroo asked.  
Kenma nodded. Kuroo frowned, knowing something was up.  
“Are you okay?” Kuroo asked.  
How did he know I wasn’t feeling good? Kenma thought.  
“You seem down,” Kuroo said. “I was wondering if you needed to talk or anything.”  
Kenma was about to talk but was interrupted when Yamamoto called them.  
“We’re going to the library,” He said. “Mr. Nekomata wants us there.”  
“Okay,” Kuroo said. “Tell me later, Kenny-chan.”  
Kenma sighed before following Kuroo and Yamamoto out of the cafeteria.  
The day passed quickly. Kenma spent his time sitting in his room, gazing out the window as cars passed by. He visited the library to read some books, finding a few romance novels that started out good but grew boring near the end. However, he never got to talk to Kuroo until later that night when Kuroo came to his room.  
“Sorry, Kenny-chan,” Kuroo said when Kenma opened the door.  
“It’s fine,” Kenma replied. “I was wondering where you were.”  
“Were you worrying for me?” Kuroo asked with a small smile.  
Kenma nodded, but he could see Kuroo’s lips quivering.  
“Are you okay?” Kenma asked. “You don’t seem okay.”  
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Kuroo assured him. He entered and closed the door before turning to Kenma as the two stood in front of the door. “So, wanna tell me why you were feeling down earlier?”  
“Why don’t you tell me why you don’t seem okay,” Kenma said back.  
“I asked you first,” Kuroo said.  
“I asked you second,” Kenma retorted.  
“Second,” Kuroo emphasized.  
Kenma shrugged, making Kuroo chuckle.  
“Well, I was getting my checkup,” Kuroo said. “Still don’t know how I get my panic attacks. And before that, I…kinda had one.”  
Kenma could feel his chest tighten and his heart began to hurt. It made Kenma sad that Kuroo had to experience this pain and not know why.  
“I’m sorry,” Kenma apologized, looking down.  
“Nah,” Kuroo assured him. “No need for you to apologize. It’s not your fault. Anyways, your turn.”  
Kenma knew Kuroo was changing the subject, but he didn’t dare say a word about it, knowing full well the Kuroo didn’t want to talk about it.  
“I…wish I wasn’t sick,” Kenma blurted. “I can’t do much in life. I feel like everything may trigger my panic attacks and I won’t be able to do anything. I can’t live my high school life anymore. I’m not strong at all. I’m weak now that I have this anxiety—"  
Kuroo interrupted him by wrapping his slightly muscular arms around Kenma’s small body. Kenma stopped talking. Hesitantly, he wrapped his thin arms around Kuroo’s broad chest. After a few seconds of the embrace, Kuroo removed his arms, leaving Kenma to feel disappointed and cold.   
“You can be strong, Kenma,” Kuroo said. He grinned at Kenma before turning around and heading to his own room.  
With shaking arms, Kenma shut his door and leaned against it. He slid down and sat on the and brought his knees up to his chest. His hands covered his entire face as it exploded with heat. His heart was beating quicker than normal. It wasn’t anxiety, but embarrassment.  
“If only I could…” Kenma whispered.


	4. One More Minute

Kenma wandered down the halls. It was only 3:30 in the afternoon. He still had some time before dinner. The other patients were doing their own things like taking naps, reading in the library, or playing board games with each other.  
Kenma looked out the window to spot a small garden outside. Yamamoto and Naoi were talking with each other on a plain white bench. Around them were bushes and different colored flowers growing on the ground or on the bushes. There was a stone path leading up to a marble fountain that spilled out crystal clear water and created transparent rainbows nearby. Lining the stone path were cherry blossom trees. Since it was nearly the end of fall and winter was coming, Kenma didn’t expect to see the bright pink blossoms hanging on the trees.  
“Nice garden, huh?” Kuroo asked as he stood next to Kenma.  
“Mhm,” Kenma hummed back. “It’s pretty.”  
“This is considered everyone’s sanctuary,” Kuroo explained. “It’s got a good view of the moon. Plus, my room is right above the garden and it has direct contact with the moon. It’s gorgeous at night.”  
“All of our rooms are above the garden,” Kenma reminded the patient, turning to him.  
“True, but I have the moon right in front of my window,” Kuroo replied.  
Kenma turned back outside. He’s never been inside Kuroo’s room, especially at night. He wondered if the moon was really in front of Kuroo’s window. After all, in Kenma’s room, it was slightly curved.  
“Wanna check out the garden?” Kuroo asked. “I know we went out on our tour, but we did have to stop halfway.”  
“Alright,” Kenma agreed. Right now, he craved the fresh and sunny air.  
It was only ten minutes since Kenma and Kuroo walked past Naoi and Yamamoto and further into the garden. A couple of bees were swarming a bush of flowers and butterflies were fluttering their wings towards the bright flowers in the ground.  
“Winter’s coming soon,” Kuroo said, breaking their serene silence. “Christmas and New Year’s.”  
“Yeah,” Kenma replied.  
“It’s pretty windy even though it’s warm,” Kuroo said. “I guess since winter’s around the corner, it’s going to be snowing soon, too.”  
“What about the garden?” Kenma asked, a hint of worry in his words.  
“Don’t worry,” Kuroo said. “Every day, some of us or the staff sweep off the snow from the flowers. Some of them live, but most die.”  
“Then…what’s the point?” Kenma mumbled as he stopped walking.  
“Hey…don’t think like that,” Kuroo said as he stopped walking and turned around.  
“What’s the point of being cared for?” Kenma asked. “If we’re going to die eventually, just like these flowers.”  
Kuroo stared at Kenma with wide eyes. Kenma was staring down at the flowers as the wind blew heavily, shaking leaves off the trees. Kuroo kept the picture in his head: Kenma staring down at the flowers in pity as the leaves surrounded them from the heavy wind. Kenma’s hair was flying the direction of the wind. To Kuroo, it was beautiful. But with Kenma in it, it made his world as bright as a star.  
“Anything could happen. My panic attacks, yours. All of our disorders hurt us, and we could easily die—” Kenma continued.  
“Kenma, stop,” Kuroo said, seriousness in his tone. His voice softened into a pleading tone. “Don’t think like that.”  
“Sorry, Tetsurou,” Kenma said as he walked past Kuroo’s frozen figure.  
“Call me Tetsu, for short,” Kuroo said, making Kenma turn around.  
“What?” Kenma asked.  
“Call me Tetsu,” Kuroo repeated, turning around to face Kenma with a small and soft smile.  
“I…” Kenma began. His mouth closed. “Okay.”  
Kuroo’s smile slowly began to fade. Kenma frowned and walked up to Kuroo questionably.  
“Tetsu?” Kenma asked when he saw the blank look on Kuroo’s face. “Tetsurou?”  
Kuroo’s breathing grew ragged and fast. He fell to his knees and clutched is chest. His eyes were wide yet blank. His body began to shake and sweat droplets appeared on his skin. Tears cornered his eyes as they fell one-by-one. Kenma’s eyes widened when he realized what was happening.  
Kuroo was having a panic attack.  
Kenma didn’t know what to do. His anxiety was kicking in, and in any moment, he would be having a panic attack too. He frantically searched around and saw Naoi running towards them with Yamamoto behind him.  
Naoi helped Kuroo, who had fainted, up off the ground and used himself as crutch. Yamamoto helped leverage Kenma so he wouldn’t fall. Kenma watched weakly as Naoi took Kuroo back inside. He didn’t know what to say.  
It was nighttime and the stars gleamed in the navy-blue sky. The moon was full and so big that it seemed like Kenma could touch it. But tonight, wasn’t the night to touch the moon or collect the stars. It was the night to visit Kuroo and see how he was.  
“Doctor Naoi?” Kenma asked. “Can I see Tetsu?”  
“Sure,” Naoi said. “Just remember to stay calm and lead his mind away from…thing.”  
Kenma nodded his head understandingly as Naoi walked off. Then, he carefully opened Kuroo’s door and peered his head inside. Kuroo was sitting on his bed with his back leaning against the cushion behind him. The blanket over his legs and his torso was covered with a white t-shirt that outlined his muscles.  
“Kuroo?” Kenma asked.  
Kuroo turned to Kenma, a frown on his face. “I thought you’d start calling me Tetsu?”  
Kenma shook his head. “When I did, you had your…”  
Kuroo chuckled lightheartedly. “Like I said, my attacks come randomly. Have you eaten?”  
Kenma shrugged. “More or less.”  
Truth is, Kenma had nibbled a bit of bread for dinner, with Yaku begging him to eat something. But the worry for Kuroo inside of Kenma ate him away so much that he couldn’t stomach any food and forced himself to stop eating.  
Kuroo frowned and sighed. “What time is it?”  
“11:08,” Kenma replied, looking down at the digital clock sitting on the bedside table.  
“Damn.” Kuroo ran his fingers through his hair. “I’ve slept for nearly 7 hours.”  
“Sorry…” Kenma muttered.  
“No need,” Kuroo said, glancing at the clock. “Mind if you stay here. We can look out at the moon together.”  
Kenma nodded and sat on the chair nearby as they both peered out the window. The moon was bright, but the stars seemed brighter. It seemed like every star would sooner or later shoot across the sky for people to make their wish.  
“One more minute,” Kuroo said.  
Kenma turned his head to see Kuroo staring at the clock that read 11:10.  
“Time?” Kenma asked.  
“To make a wish,” Kuroo replied. “At 11:11.”  
Kenma was surprised to know that Kuroo believed in those wishes.  
“Why don’t you make one, Kenma?” Kuroo asked.  
Well…it’s not like it’s going to make me any better, Kenma thought. But…I’ll just make one, just for Kuroo.  
“It’s time,” Kuroo said.  
Kenma found himself staring at the clock that now said 11:11. He then looked outside. His eyes widened and his heart skipped a beat as something white trailed across the sky. It seemed to have gone by slowly, when in reality, it zoomed by quickly.  
Kenma quickly shut his eyes and thought of a wish. Something meaningful, something worth it. Something to help heal them all.  
“I should go,” Kenma said after the 1 turned into a 2. “Good night, Tetsu.”  
“Hey,” Kuroo said, stopping Kenma before he left. “How about…you come visit me often? And we can have these chats and stare at the sky, huh?”  
Kenma looked back at Kuroo, an unfamiliar gleam in his cat-like eyes. After a few seconds, Kuroo recognized that gleam. It was the gleam of agreement.


	5. What If I Told You I Loved You?

Every night, Kenma had stayed with Kuroo until midnight in Kuroo’s room to make their 11:11 wishes and stare at the moon. Although they barely talked, the silence was still as comforting as being together.  
“Kenma?” Kuroo asked one night.   
Kenma was lying next to Kuroo, his head on Kuroo’s shoulder as they snuggled from the cold wind outside. Kuroo was playing with Kenma’s hair.  
“Yeah?” Kenma asked.  
“What do you think about me?”  
Kuroo’s question startled Kenma. He turned his head and glanced at Kuroo. Kuroo was staring down at him. Although it was dark, the crescent moon provided enough light to shine on the edges of the side of their faces.  
“What do you mean?” Kenma asked.  
Kuroo looked out the window. “What would you say if I said I loved you?”  
Kenma’s heart nearly exploded. He could feel it beating quicker than normal. Why did those words make him want to leap up and yell happily?  
“I…” Kenma began. He laid his head on Kuroo’s chest and stared out the window, letting the moon shine on his entire face. “I guess I would say ‘I love you’ back.”  
Kuroo gave a small laugh as he continued to play with Kenma’s hair. They laid there in Kuroo’s bed in silence, thinking about the short conversation they had.  
Love, huh? Kenma thought. How will that work? We could die soon…  
“You know,” Kuroo said. “Winter’s here. But…we have to be careful. We can catch the cold easily because—”  
Kuroo stopped talking. He didn’t want to ruin the peaceful late night with negativity.  
“Our disorders,” Kenma finished. “We’re weak.”  
Kuroo didn’t say or do anything. Kenma was correct, but he didn’t want to admit that. After all, he was supposed to be Kenma’s star and everyone else’s hero. So, he had to stay positive, for the sake of everyone in the hospital…especially Kenma.  
“Well,” Kenma said, sitting up. “I should head back since it’s midnight.”  
“Good night, Kenny-chan,” Kuroo said as Kenma headed to the door.  
Kenma turned back to him and nodded his head. After he shut the door, Kuroo got out of bed and stood by the window. He looked up at the star that shined brightly.  
“I’ll be here for you, Kenma,” Kuroo said.  
He looked down at the brochure that was sitting on his right-side nightstand. Nekomata had left the brochure there for Kuroo. Kuroo picked it up and red it for the 3rd time. It was an advertisement to another hospital all the way in America. Nekomata had told him about it in case anything bad happened to Kuroo.  
Kuroo sighed and he set the brochure down. He flopped on his back on his bed and covered his eyes with his arm. He couldn’t leave Kenma. But it all depended on his attacks.  
“Please,” Kuroo whispered. “Don’t make me leave him…please.”  
The sun shined through the window when Kuroo woke up. The door opened and there were soft footsteps coming towards his bed. He opened his eyes to see his nurse adjusting the curtains that were already opened. She turned and smiled at him as he sat up.  
“Morning, Keiko-san,” Kuroo said.  
“Good morning, Kuroo,” Keiko replied. “They’re having lunch in the cafeteria. You, Kenma, and Shibayama are the only ones missing. You can walk with them when Hayato and Ishira get those two up, okay?”  
“Mhm,” Kuroo replied as he stood up. “See ya.”  
Keiko waved as she shut his door to let Kuroo get ready.  
It was a normal day. Kuroo helped the others, encouraging them as well. After all, negativity could affect their disorders and possibly hurt them even more. The only thing that Kuroo could do was help.  
“Oh, Kenny-chan!” Kuroo exclaimed as he opened the door to the library.  
“Shhhh!” Kenma whispered, putting a finger to his lips. He motioned to Kuroo all the books in the room.  
“Sorry,” Kuroo whispered as he took a seat next to Kenma.  
Kenma nodded and turned back to his book. Kuroo pouted a little.  
“Why aren’t you talking to me?” Kuroo asked with a hint of mischief in his voice.  
“I’m reading,” Kenma replied.  
“Is it because I asked you what you would say if I loved you?” Kuroo asked, making Kenma’s eyes widen. “You answered. You said you’d say it back. Is that true?”  
“Yes…” Kenma muttered, leaning his head over so his hair could hide his face.  
“It’s alright, Kenny-chan,” Kuroo said as he pushed Kenma’s hair out his face. “It was only a joke.”  
Kuroo got up and left the library. Kenma couldn’t help but to feel disappointed when he left. He went back to their conversation. He wished Kuroo wasn’t joking. He could always feel safe and happy around Kuroo. It was disappointing that their disorders could easily stop them from gaining their wish.


	6. Seeing Snow

Kenma was still thinking about the conversation he had with Kuroo. He wanted so badly to tell Kuroo the truth, but he didn’t want to risk getting a panic attack. After all, his anxiety has been on the low side and he didn’t want to risk anything.  
“Alright, everyone,” Nekomata said during the meeting in the library. “As you know, winter has come and that means snow.”  
Inuoka and Shibayama’s eyes glowed with excitement.  
“But…” Nekomata began as Inuoka and Shibayama’s eyes lowered with disappointment. “You must be careful if you go outside. It’s extremely cold, so dress warmly. Ask your nurse if you need any help on finding suitable clothes. You all are starting to get better, and I’d like to make sure your health improves.”  
Hearing that, Inuoka and Shibayama brightened and got up to leave.  
“Now, now,” Nekomata interrupted. “The nurses will be outside with you all. Some will be watching you guys from inside. Make sure everybody is outside before you scatter about in the garden.”  
Nekomata ended the short meeting as everyone got up and hurried to their rooms to find warm clothes. Seeing snow was a pretty big deal in the hospital.  
“Kenma,” Hayato, Kenma’s personal nurse, said as he entered the room. “Are you dressed?”  
“Yeah,” Kenma replied, wearing sweatpants and a long sleeve over a t-shirt.  
“Here.” Hayato held up a red snowsuit. “Make sure you put on your boots and gloves. Everything else, too.”  
“Thanks, Hayato,” Kenma said as Hayato left Kenma.  
Kenma tucked his shirts in the snowsuit before zipping it up. He slipped his boots on and tucked the ends of the suit in his boots. He slid on a heavy coat and zipped it all the way to his neck. Then, he put on some gloves and wrapped a scarf around his neck.  
Opening the door to his room, he peered out to hear other doors open and a few nurses leave the rooms. He turned his head to see Kuroo walking over to him, wearing a black jacket and a red and black patterned snowsuit. A white scarf was wrapped securely around his neck. He had topped everything off with a red snow hat.  
“Nice outfit, Kenny-chan,” Kuroo said with a grin.  
"Haha.” Kenma fake laughed.  
The two of them walked quietly downstairs and stopped where the group was waiting. Kenma looked around to see that Teshiro and Inuoka were missing. Yaku and Lev were chatting quietly, with sad smiles on their faces. Kenma averted his gaze from the latter two and glanced up at Kuroo. Kuroo, who was seemingly staring at him, quickly averted his gaze towards Yamamoto.  
“We’re here!” Inuoka shouted.  
Next to Kenma, Shibayama jumped. Kenma turned to him and tilted his head slightly, as if asking if she were okay. Shibayama gave him a quick nod as Ishira, Shibayama’s personal nurse, lightly scolded Inuoka for shouting.  
“Sorry,” Inuoka apologized to Shibayama, who shook his head and waved his hands in front of his face. Inuoka nodded and turned to the door. Nekomata stopped him before he could open it.  
“Now, now,” Nekomata said. “I understand you’re excited, Inuoka, but we must wait for Teshiro.”  
“Teshiro’s here!” Naoi said as he came down the stairs with Teshiro behind him. “Sorry. I was helping him out before we left the room.”  
“Alright,” Nekomata said. “I’m sure you’ll be helping him when we’re outside?”  
“Yessir,” Naoi replied.  
"Now you may all go outside,” Nekomata said as he opened the door.  
Everyone walked out calmly. Kenma stayed in between Shibayama and Kuroo as everyone began to separate. Kenma followed Kuroo as Shibayama turned to sit on a bench.  
“Can’t stop following me, can you?” Kuroo asked, his back still turned from Kenma.  
“I…I just,” Kenma mumbled, unsure of what to say.  
“Nah, I’m just kidding with you,” Kuroo chuckled as he turned around. “I’m alright with you following me. Keeps me company. You’re like my shadow.”  
Kenma turned to leave.  
“W-wait! I was kidding!” Kuroo quickly latched onto Kenma’s arm.  
“So was I,” Kenma replied, hoping Kuroo wouldn’t see the obvious blush on his cheeks. He lowered his head slightly to hide his mouth.  
“Funny,” Kuroo chuckled, ruffling Kenma’s hair.  
“Don’t touch.” Kenma lightly slapped Kuroo’s hand that was messing his hair up.  
Kuroo chuckled as Kenma continued to stare at the snow when Kuroo let go of his arm. Kenma could feel his heart sink as the warmth left his arm. Why did he like Kuroo so much that even after simply touching him made his heart break?  
Something was placed on his head. Kenma looked up in surprise to see Kuroo placing his red hat on top of Kenma’s head. Kuroo removed his hands and backed up a bit with a smile on his face.  
Kenma gave Kuroo a small smile as he lifted his hands to touch Kuroo’s face. Kuroo blinked in surprise but he gave Kenma a big closed-eye grin as he placed his hands on Kenma’s.


End file.
